Last but not least, I conclude this newsletter with the other side of homeschooling, the part that is actually the crux of parenting itself: raising children well, with all the attributes of greatness such as heart, integrity, and purpose.
For concerned parents, that is becoming more and more challenging in this age of increasing materialism, consumerism, moral relativity and distraction.
So how do we raise our children well? And what does homeschooling have to do with it?
For concerned parents, that is becoming more and more challenging in this age of increasing materialism, consumerism, moral relativity and distraction.
So how do we raise our children well? And what does homeschooling have to do with it?
The fact is we live in a world where negative influences that we as parents would never choose to expose our childrem to, have vibrant, appealing, relentless access to our children's minds and hearts like never before, through the media, internet, peers and strangers. In order to combat those influences we have to reclaim our right to guard our children's time and exposure to what we deem detrimental to their upbringing. Friends are important, socializing with peers is important, but with homeschooling, we the parents can choose to mingle with people we know, like and trust rather than leave it up to chance.
More importantly, homeschooling does wonders for the parent-child bond. Tragically, this vital bond is increasingly marginalized and (with derogatory terms such as "helicopter parenting", "mama's boy" etc) even dismissed as detrimental to a child's development by some people in this upside-down age!
Why is the parent-child bond important?
Can anyone deny the fact that no-one on the face of this Earth loves your children more than you do? Don’t we love them more than we love ourselves? Wouldn’t we go through fire for them, when we wouldn’t even get off the couch for ourselves? Haven’t you heard of parents who quit a life-time habit of smoking the moment they realize their child is watching them, and a cold dagger of fear pricks their heart at the thought that their child might be negatively influenced by their example? (Whereas a "friend" would encourage your child to smoke, to make their own smoking feel legit!) Furthermore, isn’t it a truth universally acknowledged, that no-one will be as sincerely ecstatic with the success of another who exceeds their own accomplishments, as parents are when their own children exceed them? No other person on Earth will ever dedicate themselves to the success and happiness of your child as much as you do. No other person has as vested an interest!
We are social creatures and seek social proof of our worth and value and status. So who would you want to have the most social power over your child- someone who encourages your child to adopt their negative behavior or someone who changes their negative behavior to better influence your child? Someone who puts them down, or someone who lifts them up? Someone who doesn’t want your child to be better than they are, or someone who does all in their power to make your child surpass them in every way? Naturally you'd want the best influence to loom large in your child's esteem. Therefore, shouldn’t you do everything you can to ensure that you are the person your child is most attached to, the person whose judgment and opinion your child gives more weight to, and whose approval your child puts most effort in maintaining? Especially when you think for a moment what are the kinds of behaviors or values that childish peers promote among each other. I'm not saying all children are like that, only that in schools you have no hand in deciding who those peers are, and some of those children are individuals you would never choose to even introduce to your children, let alone wield so much power in shaping your kids' values and priorities.
Having said all this, even homeschooling does not guarantee anything because merely limiting exposure to competing influences is only half the battle and the question remains- how do we pass on our hearts, hopes and ideals to our children in a way that will be received by them whole-heartedly in return?
Exploring specific answers to that question will be the focus of Matters of the Heart in future newsletters, but for this issue, if you simply walk away with a heightened appreciation for how you are the best person your children could be spending the majority of their time with (yes, even with all your flaws and shortcomings!) you will have surely taken a huge step towards maintaining the strong loving bond that truly does wonders in raising children well.
More importantly, homeschooling does wonders for the parent-child bond. Tragically, this vital bond is increasingly marginalized and (with derogatory terms such as "helicopter parenting", "mama's boy" etc) even dismissed as detrimental to a child's development by some people in this upside-down age!
Why is the parent-child bond important?
Can anyone deny the fact that no-one on the face of this Earth loves your children more than you do? Don’t we love them more than we love ourselves? Wouldn’t we go through fire for them, when we wouldn’t even get off the couch for ourselves? Haven’t you heard of parents who quit a life-time habit of smoking the moment they realize their child is watching them, and a cold dagger of fear pricks their heart at the thought that their child might be negatively influenced by their example? (Whereas a "friend" would encourage your child to smoke, to make their own smoking feel legit!) Furthermore, isn’t it a truth universally acknowledged, that no-one will be as sincerely ecstatic with the success of another who exceeds their own accomplishments, as parents are when their own children exceed them? No other person on Earth will ever dedicate themselves to the success and happiness of your child as much as you do. No other person has as vested an interest!
We are social creatures and seek social proof of our worth and value and status. So who would you want to have the most social power over your child- someone who encourages your child to adopt their negative behavior or someone who changes their negative behavior to better influence your child? Someone who puts them down, or someone who lifts them up? Someone who doesn’t want your child to be better than they are, or someone who does all in their power to make your child surpass them in every way? Naturally you'd want the best influence to loom large in your child's esteem. Therefore, shouldn’t you do everything you can to ensure that you are the person your child is most attached to, the person whose judgment and opinion your child gives more weight to, and whose approval your child puts most effort in maintaining? Especially when you think for a moment what are the kinds of behaviors or values that childish peers promote among each other. I'm not saying all children are like that, only that in schools you have no hand in deciding who those peers are, and some of those children are individuals you would never choose to even introduce to your children, let alone wield so much power in shaping your kids' values and priorities.
Having said all this, even homeschooling does not guarantee anything because merely limiting exposure to competing influences is only half the battle and the question remains- how do we pass on our hearts, hopes and ideals to our children in a way that will be received by them whole-heartedly in return?
Exploring specific answers to that question will be the focus of Matters of the Heart in future newsletters, but for this issue, if you simply walk away with a heightened appreciation for how you are the best person your children could be spending the majority of their time with (yes, even with all your flaws and shortcomings!) you will have surely taken a huge step towards maintaining the strong loving bond that truly does wonders in raising children well.